Saturday, January 17, 2009

January ~~~~ Memories Of !

For those of you that know me you know just how hard the month of January is for me and the surrounding situations as to how i feel and why i am not my normal bubbly self during the month , and for those that don't well let me tell ya a little bit of the story , first of all i came across these poems on this site and wanted to share of a few of the ones that really touched me off of it


Time cannot steal the treasures That we carry in our hearts.Nor ever dim the shining thoughts Our cherished past imports For the memories of the ones we loved Still cast a gentle glow,To grace our days and light our paths Wherever we may go.

Author Unknown


I found a penny today Just laying on the ground,But it’s not just a penny This little coin I’ve found.Found pennies come from heaven That’s what my Grandpa told me,He said angels toss them down.
Oh, how I loved that story.He said when an angel misses you They toss a penny down,Sometimes just to cheer you up To make a smile of your frown.So don’t pass by that penny When you’re feeling blue,It may be a penny from heaven That an angel tossed to you.

Author Unknown


To the living, I am gone.To the sorrowful, I will never return.To the angry, I was cheated.
But to the happy, I am at peace.And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen.I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a short, Gazing at a beautiful sea-- Remember me.
As you look in awe at the mighty forest And its grand majesty—Remember me.
Remember me in your heart,Your thoughts and your memories Of the times we cried,The times we fought,The times we laughed.
For if you always think of me,I will have never gone


Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there, I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow,I am the diamond glint on the snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain,I am the gentle autumn rain.When you wake in the morning hush I am the swift, uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight,I am the soft starlight at night,Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there – I do not sleep. Anonymous

Now as to the story of why January is soo hard for me

This is my Grama Hizer and to me she was one of the most amazing people in the world , She raised me for part of my life and i was extremely close to her , She was a jack of all trades and I am almost sure that there wasn't anything that she couldn't do ! For 20 plus years she was a teachers aid in the Fla school system and also worked in the church nursery for just as long . She loved Children and being around them and she loved God and wasn't afraid to tell any one just how much , In Aug of 1998 she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer

and while i hoped and prayed that she would beat it sadly enough she didn't it spread into her lungs and into her brain this all happened in a 6 month time period and was the hardest thing i ever experienced in my life and was something ill never forget , On January 13Th 1999 my Grama went home to Jesus and there hasn't been a day in the last 10 yrs that I haven't thought about her and haven't missed her so very much so many times Ive wanted to call her and ask her about a recipe or something on one of the kids but shes not there for me to make that phone call too so that's made it very hard over the yrs and I know that even tho shes not here for me to talk to shes always there to listen and that's a great comfort !

And then Jan 9 2005 my Grandfather passed away I never got to meet him but i had started talking to him on and off in email and on the phone and through letters from time to time , I do wish i would have been able to one day meet him and I know one day in heaven i will . But even still its hard to lose some one u never meet but that u felt u should know !

And in Jan of 2006 we lost this wonderful lady my Great Grandmother when she passed away it was just a few days before her 95Th birthday, There was so many things that i learned from this lady and I dont think i ever told her just how much she ment to me and how much I treasure the things i did learn , so many things about marriage , faith happiness and even cooking she saw alot in her lifetime and never once let it get her down ... I do soo miss her very much also !

And then in 2009 I know hes not a human or anything like that but hes still a member of our family and we did love him we lost our Dog Konann a few weeks ago ! And to us he did mean alot ! The boys and I are moving on from him being gone seems weird with out him but I know we enjoyed the many many years of happiness that we got from him ! And having him in our lives

So as you can see these are a few reasons as to why the month of January is so very hard for me to deal with I know that you aren't supposed to grieve the loss of a loved one but to celebrate there life and while i do some days i just miss them all so much Each year i try and do a layout in memory of my loved ones I haven't done one for my grandfather or Konann yet but this is the one I did for my grandmothers

Well Ive rambled on enough for this blog maybe i cant get outta my Jan blues now and get in gear and start working on them goals ! My Grama Hizers bday is the 24th of Jan so ill try and make it through the rest of the month ! Thanks for reading and God bless also thanks for all your kind words when Konann died they all meant so much to us all !


Bridgett said...

I know that it is incredibly hard to feel such loss and pain but God will be holding you and carrying you when you feel like it's too hard to take another step. I am so very sorry for your pain and I will keep you close in my thoughts.

Christina said...

well you know i am here for you. just takeyour time we aren't going anywhere.

Tonya said...

I know you miss them all so much, especially your grandma - but look at the legacy your leaving of them for the future generations of your family to see, to have glimpse into who they were, and what they meant to you. Your January Blues keep their memories living on and some day that album will help you through those not so sunny days of January. I love you girl and I know that your Grandma is cheering in Heaven for all the changes you've been making in your life. Just remember that and try not to be to sad, because I'm sure she's smiling down on you.